Acne Story Accutane and Veganism (Part 2)
My anxiety at one point was just getting so bad. I felt hopeless. I know, if any of have experienced having really bad acne, it just becomes your life. You just feel crippled because of it. I know it sounds very dramatic, but I just couldn't feel happiness. I don’t know how I let myself get to that point, but it was the only thing I could think of, and I just couldn't feel happy. So, my period was nowhere to be seen. It didn't turn out for five months.
Everyone around me was just telling me to go back on the pill. But I felt I'd come so far at that point to go back on it. So, when I got to month five, I could see that this cystic acne, which had come up overnight and was scarring my skin badly. I was feeling quite a heartbroken, because I knew that these cysts are creating indentations that made me so sure that my skin would never look as once it did. This was getting to me. I would also just be beating myself up about all the years I complained about acne up until this point, because that didn't even touch the surface of what I was going through at this point.
I've been looking at my calendar, and I would count down the days until I'd give an extra block, which was a supplement for my skin the full three months, because everyone was saying I needed to give it three months before I stopped or three months until you saw actual results. I was convinced that this was the answer, I'd read so many Amazon reviews and blogs, and everyone in the natural world was claiming that Vitex Agnus Castus.
And then, one night in July, I was just lying there, I couldn't sleep, and it got about 5:00 a.m. And I said to myself: This is not life! This is not making me happy! Something needs to change!” I've been reading a few self-help blogs that week, which I just thought was my last shot.
So, I got up wrote down on a piece of paper all the things I wanted from life, all the things that I knew I can have that are obtainable, and that I really wanted to make me feel good. I wanted clear skin. I wanted to be free to not wear makeup if I didn't want to. I wanted a meaningful relationship. I wanted to make friends that understood this journey and could relate.
I wanted my own home, so I could feel safe in here, and I wanted to double the salary I was on and so. I could afford to eat healthy foods if I wanted to and not feel restricted to what I could buy. I wanted to feel food freedoms I'd have to check and read labels every time. I ate something and I just wanted to feel fulfilled, so I just wrote this all down and just trusted the process, and just knew back to action that something would change, and this could be mine.
The next day I got up, I put my hair up for the first time. I hadn't made my hair up about six months at this point. It was July and it was a super hot. It was 50 degrees in the tube, and I used to sit there with my hair, like this at all times. I would just cry if the wind blew and my hair was out of my face. But I put my hair up and I felt good. I then decided that that night I wasn't going to cancel my plans, which I normally did.
I took the pill and took a cyclin antibiotic tablet. I just thought this wasn't forever. This was my healthy way of living. But I need to action this, and this will help my skin. And it wasn't all happiness overnight, I still felt incredibly depressed about my acne scars.
I'd spent so long waiting for extra block and these supplements to work, which didn't. So, I knew I was back to this waiting game, waiting for the pill to kick in. But I was hopeful, and I knew that the pill would clear my skin. And it was obtainable and it was in the near future. I was getting to the place, where something would work. Then I decided to research my game plan, how I was going to get my skin back on track.
I decided to tackle the hyperpigmentation first, because there were the rib marks that everybody saw, when I wasn't wearing any makeup. I knew that they'd be the first thing people would see, when they looked at my skin. So, I decided to research the best thing to do about this. I researched that the quickest way to deal with this was with a laser, which was called Vbeam Laser. It's pulsed dye laser. I researched, who the best person was to do this treatment for me. And it was a dermatologist in Manchester.
So, I did three rounds of that, which really helped with my red marks. And then stage two was tackling the indentations. I’ve read probably every single article on acne to back in 2015 that was talking about acne scar treatment. I was going to get my skin back to what it used to look. The result, as I was reading that, hadn't really helped a lot of people was a time and derma rolling. So, if you are patient, and you don't roll micro-needle, the results spoke for themselves. I was absolutely sure that that's the plan of action I was going to take. I did some research about getting this done professionally. But I just spent a ton of money on this laser treatment.
It seemed that if I following the instructions from the internet that I found would give me the same results from home. It, honestly, transformed my skin.
Every single day there is at least one point in the day, when I just think how grateful I am. And that micro-needle work for me, because I know that feeling of that desperation and research into death, ways to clear acne scars. And I can't believe it worked.
So, phase 3 was a project to get my natural period back and balance my hormones, because that was the underlying problem, which I absolutely knew. If I come off the pill, and my acne have flared up, then I just knew it was a hormonal issue. And that's when I realized I have been doing it all wrong about my being vegan.
You need fats. They are the building blocks for hormones. So, I decided to spin things on my head, really watch my blood sugar. And so I wasn't eating a ton of sugary foods. And I really focused on healthy fats and a balanced meal, which contains protein fats and carbohydrates.
I also visited a dermatologist on the NHS. At this point I had been referred right, when we first started breaking out, but it took over six months to see one. So, when I went to see her, she offered me Accutane. I'd also research this, so I knew it was something that I could potentially take, but I thought my skin was under. I knew that that it wasn't really active acne. I f thought that I might go on that, but my emotional well-being can't quite handle that at the moment. I wanted to get things back on track in terms of my skin clearing before. I went through the whole phase of having dry irritated skin.
So, a micro-needle for a year, and then I went back to the dermatologist and got my prescription of Accutane. I had a research that weaning off the pill was the best bet for me to not shock my hormones again. So, I decided to wean off the pill and at the same time started taking Accutane. At this point I've been micro needling for a year. I also knew about vitamin A and Accutane. It's a synthetic form of vitamin A. It was also great for speeding up micro-needling results. Lots of people were pairing it with retinol. So, I knew that this combination was definitely the best option for me.
I’m sure that it was a complete success. My acne scarring completely cleared up, and my acne completely cleared up. My skin had never looked better. So, having a course of Accutane essentially transformed my skin. It wasn't without side effects, but, honestly, my poor scarring subsided and my skin had transformed.
So, now I've been off the pill. I am using topical tretinoin to just maintain good results and help with anti-aging as well. But, honestly, my skin has never looked better. This is the best skin I've ever had in my life. And that's why I'm really excited to share this journey with you, because if it helps anybody that would obviously make my day.
Acne might feel like a life sentence, but I just want to give somebody hope. Your skin can clear. There are things that you can do.
I now have a diet, which is full of macro and micronutrients. I eat all kinds of food, a mixed diet. I just watch my blood sugar, and I don't eat too much sugar, because that can break me out.
Equally, I found that stress causes acne for me, and my emotions really play into my skin. I can see how my stress, my depression and my anxiety contribute to making my skin worse than it probably ever was going to be.
Anyone struggling with acne should know that your acne does not define you. This is just one of the life's experiences. You'll learn a ton of amazing things about your body. And my life is not perfect. It's far from that, but it just shows you how much mindset can affect all struggles in life. Being positive, focusing and just taking action and understanding how your mind works and how important it is: that is the key with something like acne.